The US Embassy in Bishkek is an odd setup for a comfort-anything. A few years ago, there was a bombing in Bishkek at the Osh Bazaar (the major marketplace). It wasn't huge, but it was a terrorist attack and, according to US intelligence officials, the attack was going to be targeted at the US Embassy - but it was decided that would be too hard.
The result of that independent finding by the US Embassy staff was that the US got a newer, bigger, even more secure, and even more remote Embassy compound. It is the only embassy in all of Bishkek that is not in the city center (instead being outside of town, and just down the street from the Presidential residence). Additionally, it it one of only 3 embassies to have a security fence (Russia, China, India are the others), and the US embassy has 2 of them, with multiple guard houses, check points, etc. It's a modern fortress, situated on a large open space (owned by the US to prevent any nearby construction).
Basically, it is as foreboding as possible. The small army of security guards (all local Kyrgyz in US-flagged uniforms) don't make it any homier.
And it was to this embassy that I journeyed on July 2nd to celebrate the 4th of July (Embassy was closed on Sat the 4th, and taking Friday the 3rd as its surrogate holiday, leaving Thursday the 2nd the only option for an official fest).
I went with my 2 American friends, Kara & Evan, both Fullbright scholars in Bishkek for the better part of a year by now. They generally avoid the embassy themselves (both in Kyrgyzstan to study local politics and work on Russian fluency), but it was the 4th, and there was the promise of "American" food.
Once we got through the road gate, the pedestrian gate, the metal detector, and the scanner (for loose items only - no backpacks allowed), the grounds themselves were quite pleasant. Lush grass, a few saplings (it's still new) and a building that would seem very familiar to anyone who
grew up in rows of Ranch-style homes in the American midwest.
I'm not suggesting it's a great representation of America, at least, not the positive parts, but it was a suitable place to have a big Burger & Hot Dog 4th of July cookout.
Evan had his hopes up about non-Russian beers; Kara made a deal with Evan to wear her ridiculous Kyrgyz heels (everyone under 40 wears heels in this urban pedestrian capital, usually of phenomenal design and unbelievable height) if Evan would pay for her dinner ($5); I had no idea what to expect.
We were apparently late - not having received the official invite, but just a fwd without the exact time - but there was some food left, and the live cover band hadn't stopped playing when we arrived. On the upside, our tardiness exempted us from the $5 cover charge.
The food was exactly what you'd expect at a government-sponsored public picnic in the states - the burgers were generic pressed patties, not ground beef, the hotdogs were greasy and of indeterminate meat origins, and the side dishes were colorful - cornbread & beans sat side-by-side with an "asian sesame coleslaw."
The lack of mustard (they had some, but being that Kyrgyzstan is a country practically afloat in Ketchup, this welcome US alternative had been expended long before we arrived) flagged my enthusiasm sligthly... that is, until I looked into the drink tubs.
Evan was out of luck - the only beer they had was Baltika 7, a Russian stand-by. But for sodas, they must have cleaned out the Marine PX over at Manas base, because there, bobbing in two 55-gallon transcans filled with lukewarm water, was a stunny array of Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke, Dr. Pepper and even - yes - Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!
!
The first 12 oz can of the Sacred Nectar was, I dare say, the best 25 som ($0.50) I have ever spent. There is no MD in KG, so this was the first reunion with my beloved beverage in more than a month. I don't mean to be obsessive, but...
Once we were seated, we quickly met the 3-4 other Americans that Kara/Evan knew, mostly some of the more relaxed embassy crowd. I find the Embassy workers are... difficult to describe politely. Not because they aren't nice, or smart, or well-meaning. They are all those things, and very friendly as well. But there's a certain ethos, a constellation of assumptions and self-perceptions that are either necessary to work in an embassy, or perhaps just inevitably adopted once you're inundated in it, that I find very... distasteful. Or maybe "unfortunate" is a better description.
In fairness, much of their bitterness about "locals" stems from their need to interact with local government and attempt to bypass the corruption that is completely unavoidable. Their job requires them to convince the Kyrgyz gov to do things that are in US interests, and the fact that the Kyrgyz gov may not want to run its country according to their dictates from Washington doesn't change the fact that such refusals only make an embassy worker's job harder.
I'm trying to be cognizant of such frustrations, and understand how living in a double-fenced maximum security island would convince one that outside the walls is a seething mass of deception, lassitude, and poverty-fueled anti-Americanism. But it's pretty hard for me not to make the obvious comparison with colonial administrators, bemoaning the "savages" for not being "enlightened" enough to understand all the benefits that "development" offers them.
Anyway, I will admit that meeting with the Charge d'Affairs and a few other high-ranking embassy personnel gave me some pause in such an assessment. These people do have a hard job, and are expected to work with some of the less cooperative elements in all of Kyrgyz politics. It makes sense how they come to such world-views, and being as their opinions are based on very direct experience (albeit from a fundamentally wrong-headed position), I'm willing to allow that my mostly-academic critique may not be the be-all-end-all analysis.
But it should be noted that Embassy people always want to "help the locals," so long as that help corresponds with US foreign policy objectives. Let's just acknowledge that, and move on.
The event brought together an odd group of people. Long-term expats (including a guy who's been in Bishkek for 15 years running an English-language news/culture radio program?) rubbed elbows with embassy politicos and marine guards; my small contingent of Fullbrighters met up with their friend in the PR bureau, and various other clusters of mostly-younger (interns) wandered about. It wasn't a full representation of Americans in Bishkek, but was a fair sampling, a total of less than a hundred, I'd estimate.
One particularly large group of 20-somethings grabbed our attention. We started taking potshots to identify them based on common stereotypes:
Missionaries? They sure are drinking a lot.
Corporate Interns? They look kind of casual.
Peace Corps? I said casual, not self-righteously dirty.
I was getting tired of the guessing game when I suggested to Evan that it would just be faster to go and ask.
He then made a fatal mistake. "Hey, if you go do it, I'll buy you two more Mountain Dews."
Game. Set. Match.
Upon my return, Evan had my 2 fresh MD's ready and I explained that they were a group of students from Sam Houston State College, a largely technical school in SE Texas with which I was already familiar (they have a great Radio, Television, Film dept., which produced one former co-worker at KRTU we had to replace after 3 months). Apparently, the contingent of some 16 people total, was a group of student volunteers who've come to Bishkek every summer for the past 4 years to organize and run a Bishkek Baseball Little-League.
Pretty darn random, but honestly a pretty cool outreach. They aren't trying to prove that Baseball is the best thing on Earth, just that it's fun, and not something Bishkek kids have access to otherwise. Plus, I think it's a great broadening-of-mind for the 16 mostly small-town Texans as well. Good trade, really.
There were also some interns with various Microfinance companies - a booming NGO/Business hybrid in Bishkek and many other countries (though no longer Uzbekistan).
It would be hard to top the experience of 4 MD cans (original, plus one I bought, plus my 2 winners from Evan) on a warm Bishkek evening, but the second spot certainly went to one particular Sam Houston student who elected to wear his Buckee's shirt to the party. It took a lot of work to convince Kara to come over and take the super-tourist photo (at left), but I think it was well worth it. Buckee's in Bishkek. Hard to beat.
The party wound down, and we found ourselves hunting a cab back into town with a new comrade, Dan, who works for the major microfinance company in town, FINCA. We weren't quite ready to call it a night, so we had the cab drop us off by JAM, where Evan had a former student working the bar.
A couple beers later it was suddenly vodka time.
Those Americans - they're incorrigible.
Made it home after another wilder-than-I-needed Thursday. Not exactly a down-home July 4th BBQ, and honestly the Embassy vibe (or was that the hum of the electric fence) creeped me out, but a chance for some good conversation, some free grub, 4 mountain Dews (I saved 2 for later) and a memorable photo: priceless(?)
Weber (on the lamb)
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